


Unconditional Things

by Claire



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: First Kiss, M/M, Pre-Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2005-04-10
Updated: 2005-04-10
Packaged: 2019-01-21 03:35:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,220
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12448833
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Claire/pseuds/Claire
Summary: He was dating Rodney McKay, and no one had had the decency to tell him.





	Unconditional Things

"McKay, what did you do?" John Sheppard looked at the man currently standing in front of him. The light of the sun shone in through the building's single window, the heat inside almost stifling.

Rodney McKay wiped the back of his hand over his face, the dirt on his fingers leaving a smudged streak across his cheek. "I didn't do anything, Major."

Considering the entire team had been stripped of their weapons and Rodney was currently in a hut being guarded by two guys who could have been linebackers for the Bears, John was taking Rodney's assurances of innocence somewhat skeptically. Especially when the linebackers also carried really nasty looking spears. "You sure?"

The suspicion clearly showed on John's face if McKay's huffy reply was anything to go by. "Of course I'm sure. I haven't done anything of interest since we landed on this ball of mud. Certainly nothing to warrant this," McKay motioned around him.

"What _have_ you done since we landed?" Ford asked as he walked over to the window and looked out, a single shake of his head towards John indicating that the guards were still out there. "Besides complain," he added pointedly.

"What have I done? Let's see." Rodney began to count off on his fingers. "I've been bored out of my mind by the three hour welcome ceremony they insisted on giving us; almost been forced into anaphylactic shock at said same," he looked at John, " _three hour_ welcome ceremony when someone tried to give me lemon juice."

"It wasn't a lemon, McKay." John pinched the bridge of his nose, trying to ignore the headache that was threatening to blossom. "It was purple."

"I don't care if it was tartan, Major; if it smells like lemon it's not coming near my lips." McKay looked down at his hand. "Where was I?" he muttered to himself. "Boredom, near death, watching some people put meat into the ground to cook and lunch. That's it."

"You had lunch?" Ford sounded put out.

McKay shrugged. "When I say lunch, it was more of a gelatinous, strawberry drink kind of thing. One of the girls who was at the welcoming ceremony offered it to me. One of Chief Kelan's daughters. The blonde."

"Mykla?" Teyla had that thoughtful look on her face that John had come to hate. It was the 'I know what happened, and you're not going to be happy when I tell you what it is' one she sometimes wore.

"That's her."

"Dr McKay, did this drink come in a blue ornate bowl?"

Rodney nodded. "Yes, why?"

"And you drank it?"

"Of course I drank it. Major Sheppard said we had to be polite, so I was being polite. Besides, it tasted like Twizzlers."

John raised an eyebrow and McKay shrugged.

"I _like_ Twizzlers."

"That would explain it," commented Teyla, apparently satisfied that she knew what was happening.

"Explain what?" Because, as far as John was concerned, it hadn't really explained anything at all. Certainly not enough to understand why drinking strawberry gloop apparently constituted being locked in a hut under armed guard.

Teyla focused her attention on the scientist who was currently bemoaning the gods who failed to look after astrophysicists on strange planets. "Dr McKay, what Mykla offered you was the Mac'Na. It is an offering a young woman makes to show her interest in a suitor."

John groaned. "Please tell me this isn't heading where I think it's heading."

Teyla ignored the interruption. "The recipient only drinks from the bowl if he is returning her intention."

"I drank from a cup, Teyla. I hardly got down on bended knee in front of the entire village."

"Dr McKay, as far as Mykla is concerned, you have publicly declared your intention to court and pair-bond with her. When you attempted to leave the village without her in order to return to Atlantis it was a great insult."

"Great. Even being polite you manage to insult people, McKay. That's a hell of a talent."

McKay glared in John's direction. "You're only jealous the attractive young woman didn't offer you a drink from her love cup," he snapped. "And god, tell me I didn't just say that."

John raised an eyebrow. "So, should I phone home and tell Weir you need to move to double quarters?"

"Hardly," McKay spat out. "How do we undo this?"

"We? I don't know if you've noticed, but we're free to go," John pointed out. Although the entire team had been stripped of their weapons, Kelan was adamant that the rest of them were free to leave; it was McKay he wanted.

"Fine. Leave. And then come back and tell me what Elizabeth said when you tell her that you left Atlantis's head scientist behind to play nice with the people who live in mud huts."

John paused, wondering if the amusement of seeing the certain apoplexy that would come from McKay if they did leave was worth the months of bitching that would inevitably follow when they _did_ have to come back and get him. Still half tempted to walk out just to see McKay panic, he looked at Teyla. "How _do_ we undo this?"

Teyla thought for a moment. "The agreement is seen as binding, unless-"

McKay didn't let Teyla finish. "I drank strawberry Twizzler juice! How can that be seen as a binding contract?! It's not even as if I knew what drinking it meant."

"It is their law," the Athosian's tone was apologetic.

"Ignorance is no excuse," Ford commented deadpan, the grin threatening at the corner of his lips undermining the sententious tone.

McKay glared at him, and John had to admit he was impressed. In only four words Ford had managed to be worthy of the look McKay usually only reserved for people who questioned his science and Kavanagh. "This isn't funny, Lieutenant."

"From where I'm standing it is," Ford laughed, holding his hands up in supplication when McKay actually growled at him.

"Ford," John warned softly. He was all for some teasing between team members - hell, he was usually involved himself where McKay was concerned - but this had the potential to turn very serious at some point. They already had one member of his team under guard, and the rest of them had no weapons, all because, for whatever reason, they wanted McKay. Well, no one kept his scientist but him. Period.

"Sorry, sir," Ford responded, still sounding anything but.

Teyla looked at the lieutenant in confusion. "Ignorance is no excuse?"

"Back on Earth, if you break the law, you're still accountable for it, even if you didn't know it was a law," Ford clarified. "I guess it's so people can't kill someone and say they didn't know it was illegal."

"Yes, because hacking someone up with a pick-axe into pieces small enough to bury in your back garden is the same as drinking a bowl of red liquid sugar and being forced into shacking up with some woman you've only ever said three words to!"

"McKay, calm down." Because the last thing John needed was Rodney McKay in full mode. Normally, watching the other man go off on one of his rants was a sight to behold, but given the circumstances John would rather just skip the entertainment and get straight to the leaving. "Teyla, you started to mention a way we might get out of this," he looked at McKay, "before you were rudely interrupted."

Teyla nodded at John in thanks. "As far as I am aware, the only way to dissolve the contract if is Dr McKay is already bonded to someone."

"That's it, isn't it?" Ford said. "We just get Teyla to say her and Dr McKay are together and we're out of here."

Teyla shook her head, her brown hair waving slightly with the motion. "Unfortunately, Mykla approached me this morning to ask if I am pair-bonded with Dr McKay. It only just occurs to me now why she asked."

"And you said no," John surmised.

"It is the truth."

"Gotta break you of that habit."

McKay grimaced and covered his face with his hands. "I am so screwed."

Voices outside of the hut prevented John from agreeing with the muffled assessment, as the opening door put a stop to any other emerging ideas. Stepping into the hut, Kelan was followed by the guards who had previously been standing outside. Surveying the hut's interior in an easy sweep they took up stations on either side of the door, leaving Kelan with his eyes fixed on one Rodney McKay.

"Under the Law of the Mac'Na," and John could just hear the capitalization in that, "you have accepted my daughter's intent to pair-bond. We shall begin to prepare immediately."

"Hold on!"

The guards tensed as Rodney took a step towards Kelan and, without thinking about it, John moved to McKay's side.

"There is nothing to wait for. The ceremony will be carried out tonight." Kelan motioned to his guards, who kept their eyes on John.

Rodney either ignored the byplay or hadn't noticed it in the first place, his attention totally on Kelan. "I didn't know--" He was interrupted by a sharp wave of Kelan's hand.

"That is not--" And now it was John's turn to interrupt.

Grabbing hold of McKay's hand, he laced their fingers together. "And he's already pair-bonded with me." John held their joined hands up, suddenly realizing he hadn't actually seen any other same-sex couples since they landed and hoping he hadn't taken them from trying to stop McKay from being forced into marriage to trying to stop the two of them from being stoned in the middle of the village.

Rodney's head jerked around quickly. "What?" His eyes boggled, and for a second John could see the plan falling apart before it even started, and then Rodney's eyes widened, his hand gripped John's and he swiftly added, "Yes, right, exactly," with all the emphasis of a man unfairly accused of bachelorhood. He turned his attention back to Kelan, "I'm already pair-bonded to Major Sheppard, so, as lovely as your daughter is, I'm going to have to say no."

Kelan's eyes flickered between the two of them, and a flicker of relief ran through John. The look on Kelan's face spoke nothing of homophobia and everything of disbelief. "This is a ruse. A lie merely to allow Dr McKay to escape from his responsibilities."

John tensed; he didn't even need to hear the outraged splutter coming from beside him to know what McKay's reaction would be.

"Responsibilities? Understand this, you backward--" Kelan's eyes narrowed dangerously and John squeezed McKay's hand. Hard.

"What makes you think we're lying?" John let an easy smile come to his lips; the smile that said 'trust me, you know you want to'.

Kelan pinned both of them with his gaze, his expression stony. "Since you have arrived on this planet you have hardly touched each other."

John could almost feel the eye roll coming from McKay, even if he couldn't see it.

"I'm not one for big PDAs," Rodney said airily.

The chief ignored the response. "You wear nothing to symbolize your pairing."

"It's against military uniform," John answered, knowing Kelan wouldn't know one way or another what was allowable and what wasn't.

"And all you have done is bicker with each other." Kelan glared at them, daring them to deny it.

"That's foreplay," snapped McKay. "Everyone knows fighting leads to great sex."

John looked at McKay incredulously.

McKay just shrugged. "Well, it does."

Kelan looked unconvinced. "Nothing you have done since you arrived here has proven this so called bond of yours. The agreement stands; Rodney McKay will be pair-bonded with Mykla." Kelan stood. "We shall begin preparation for the ceremony." With a nod to the guards, Kelan started to move towards the door.

"Wait!" called McKay, glancing over at John when Kelan stopped and turned his attention back to them.

"Proof? I'll give him proof." The words were a quiet mutter, only audible to John because he was standing right next to the man who spoke them.

John felt Rodney's fingers tighten on his ferociously, and almost winced. If this was how McKay normally held hands with the people he dated, then John wasn't surprised the man was still single. Not that they were actually dating, John thought. Yes, they'd been starting to spend more time outside of missions together. And John had started dropping by the lab to make sure Rodney was remembering to eat when he was working. And when John had been injured on that planet a few weeks ago, McKay had spent the night sitting in the infirmary with him. And, oh god, they were dating weren't they. He was dating Rodney McKay, and no one had had the decency to tell him. Turning his head, he looked into the blue eyes staring back at him.

John would have liked to think that McKay moved first, but he just wasn't sure. Didn't know which one of them closed the distance between them, which one of them made that final step. All he was sure of, was that his mouth was on Rodney's, the taste of strawberry still on the lips that were pressed against his.

He'd thought that they'd keep it simple. Just a light touch to show Kelan the proof he was looking for, but a hand wrapped around his arm and heat seeped through his jacket, Rodney's touch burning him more than the stifling air inside the hut, and he couldn't do it.

John's hand moved up to the back of Rodney's neck, pressing them closer together as his mouth opened slightly. His tongue darted out to lap against Rodney's lower lip, cajoling and teasing, and finally slipping inside when Rodney's mouth opened.

The fingers on his arm tightened, and John found himself swallowing Rodney's breath in -- a haze of strawberry, mint and something else he wasn't sure about. Their tongues met in a forceful clash of need and want, neither willing to give any ground. A whimper escaped from between their fused lips, the unexpected sound causing John to pull back.

He stared at Rodney in stunned silence, the glazed eyes looking back at him a reflection of what he knew was on his own face. Rodney's lips were red and swollen, damp with John's own saliva. Unconsciously, he licked his lips, all too aware that his mouth was most likely in the same state as Rodney's. Behind him, Kelan was barking orders at the guards outside, but John let the words wash over him, let it all wash over him until

"Major, they're letting us go."

Ford's voice finally broke through John's reverie and he tore his eyes away from Rodney's. "Right. Going." John didn't move.

"Major Sheppard?"

Teyla's concerned tone prompted John into action. Picking up his P90 from where one of the guards had left it propped against the wall, he attached it back to his vest, glancing at the rest of his team as he did so. "Okay, let's get back to the Jumper."

Pointedly not looking at Rodney as the others collected their returned items, John walked out of the hut. Wincing and pulling out his sunglasses as soon as the brightness of the midday sun hit him, John didn't even spare a glance in the direction of the chief and his daughter as he led his people out of the village, the taste of strawberry still on his lips.

*

"Major! Major!"

John ignored the voice calling after him, the sight of the Puddlejumper in the distance spurring him on.

"Damn it, John, will you just stop!"

John stopped walking, swallowing the sigh he could feel inside and allowed Rodney to reach him. "Yes, McKay?" he said, forcing a smile that felt anything but easy to his lips. "How can I help you?"

"What we did. Back at the village." Rodney didn't get the rest of his words out as the one thought that had been running through John's mind since they left the village came tumbling out.

"You kissed me!" The reproachful tone he had been aiming for fell short by miles.

Rodney just looked at him. "From where I was standing it was pretty mutual," he pointed out. "I didn't hear you complaining."

"I had your tongue in my mouth."

"Again with the mutual thing." Rodney commented. "And, can I just say, if I was anyone else but me, I'd have pointed out that you stuck your tongue in my mouth first."

Because that's what people who are apparently dating do, he didn't say. "I didn't hear you complaining," John subconsciously parroted Rodney's earlier words.

"That's because I wasn't."

John opened his lips to snap off a reply and closed them when he realized he had nothing to say. "Oh."

Rodney glanced down quickly, before his eyes lifted to meet John's again. "In fact, not only am I not complaining, I was wondering if you'd like to do it again."

"Do it again?"

McKay rolled his eyes. "Yes, Major. Please tell me the sun hasn't baked your brain, I'd hate to have to repeat myself _three_ times."

This time, the grin that John felt on his face had no difficulty. "I'm not opposed to the idea," he drawled, the lazy words bring a smile to Rodney's lips.

"Good," the scientist said. "Glad to hear it." He glanced in the direction of the Jumper and started to walk.

John looked after him for a long moment before jogging to catch up. "So," he commented lightly, "you really think that bickering leads to--"

"Great sex." Rodney nodded as he finished the sentence.

"And what we've been doing all this time is?"

"Foreplay," McKay confirmed, as they reached the Jumper.

"Which means that we should be getting to that great sex part soon, right?" John asked, opening the Jumper's rear hatch.

"I'm thinking we can start on it as soon as we get back to Atlantis." Rodney looked at him. "You don't mind if I fly back, do you? Elizabeth was saying I should get more practice in."

John's eyes fell to Rodney's ass as the other man headed up the Jumper's ramp. "No, don't mind at all," he replied, the image in his mind of Rodney's fingers wrapped around the flight controls suddenly segueing into that of Rodney's fingers wrapped around an entirely different piece of equipment. Shifting his stance to accommodate his growing interest, he glanced back to see Teyla and Ford coming into the Jumper.

"We good to go?" he called back as Ford closed the hatch.

"Yes, sir," the lieutenant answered as John lowered himself into the co-pilot's seat.

Sitting in the pilot's chair, Rodney smirked. His hands reached out to grasp at the controls, his fingers curling around them and smirk widening as John shifted in his seat as Rodney's touch on the handles went from caressing to almost obscene.

John closed his eyes briefly and willed his erection to go down. Foreplay. And really great sex. And a six-hour flight to think about both of them. A six-hour flight with Ford and Teyla behind them and Rodney fondling the flight controls. The thought of Rodney and fondling caused John's flesh to throb back to life and he sighed. It was going to be a long flight home.


End file.
